Follow me over here for the time being...

http://kristenco.pnn.com

I can't help but test drive new blog sites, but this one is just THE coolest.

A correction.... this blog is MOSTLY rated PG-13.



I went ahead and ran a check on all the pages of my blog, and found that while I had a few G's, and even one NC-17, I averaged at a PG-13. Here is the word count for my entire blog.... this ought to be interesting. Please remember these words are taken TOTALLY out of context, and please don't turn me in as being the next psychopathic killer to open fire on innocent students.

In 319 blog entries, over the last four or five years:

* pain - 21x
* penis - 18x
* hurt - 12x
* kill - 10x
* hell - 8x
* death - 7x
* shit - 7X
* suck - 6x
* poop - 5x
* dangerous - 4x
* dead - 4x
* bitch - 3x
* crap - 3x
* asshole - 2x
* shoot - 2x
* puke - 2x
* punch - 1x
* drugs - 1x
* fuck - 1x
* fucking - 1x
* gun - 1x
* pooped - 1x

Yes, I kiss my mother with this mouth.

I'm happy to say, my blog has a G rating, for only using the words "penis" twice and "suck" once. I'm fairly certain that my rating would go up a bit if the rating was based on ALL of my entries, and not just the most recent 20.

My sister's blog, on the other hand, is NC-17... Her blog contains the following profanity on the most recent 20 entries:

* fuck (6x)
* fucking (5x)
* crap (3x)
* hurt (2x)
* bitch (1x)

Potty mouth!

I guess that officially makes mine an NC-17 now, too, eh?

Wow, this summer has been some kind of busy. Here's what I've been up to:

Taxi Mom:
Taking Aaron to soccer camp
Taking Aaron to t-ball practices and games
Taking Aaron and Ryan to piano lessons
Taking the kids to playdates and the playground

Housekeeper Wife:
Trying to get the house clean. The whole house. All at the same time.
Making VEGAN meals for the family from scratch
Doing yard work for the first time since we've lived in this house.

Community Overachiever:
Launching a Web site called Estes Valley Parents as a source for all of the parents in town to network.
Being one of eight founding members of "Families For Estes" - an organization that is trying to better the community for our kids, and make the town more appealing to young families.
Fire Board, as usual.
Fire Department - just started back this week.

Aaron: Mommy, you look so pretty.
Me: Ahh... thank you, honey.
Aaron: You also look so skinny!
Me: ...uh... thank you again, honey. ..... So, you keep telling me that I look so skinny. Do you even know what that means?
Aaron: *blushes, embarassed* Sort of?
Me: What does it mean?
Aaron: Well, I think it means that you get the hair off your skin and make your skin look lighter.
Me: BAAAHAAAHAAAA!

I've lost over 20 pounds this spring, so people tell me that I look skinny, and Aaron knows it makes me happy when they say that, and just assumes SKINny has something to do with the SKIN.

Aaron started T-Ball this year. Which he loves.... of course. He's so into it... the glove, the hat, the special water bottle.

Last week, after his first week of practice, he said, "Mom! Tomorrow we're going to practice running to first base, second base, third base, fourth base, and then SLIPPING into home!" I, of course, told him that there is no fourth base, and that we SLIDE into home, but Mom's stupid. What does she know about T-Ball?

So, at his last practice, when it was his turn to run to home, he slid into home. Actually, it was so spastic and painful looking, I'd say he slipped and fell into home. I was thinking that I ought to sign him up for rugby instead - he'd be a lot safer. He inspired one other kid to also "slide" into home. After practice I said, "Aaron? Didn't that HURT?" And he said, "No, mom - that's what you're SUPPOSED to do." And I said, "You know, you don't have to slide into home until you are 10 years old." And he said, "Yeah, I do need to."

Ouch. His first game is tomorrow night. I hope to get some "slipping into home" footage on video. Hoping he doesn't get injured, of course.

We are still recovering from our trip to Dancing Rabbit. I intend to type up a daily journal, but in the meantime, I'm posting this list...

• As hard as Aaron and Ryan may try to make semitrucks honk at them, the truckers can't see the boys pulling on their fake-horn through our van's heavily tinted windows.
  
• When a grown woman tries to get a semitruck to honk, the truck driver expects some boobie action in return.
  
• Me having laryngitis for a week is a good way to ensure that Josh will be able to get a word in edgewise.
  
• Dancing Rabbit is self-sustainable, but not self-sufficient.
  
• Aaron sleeps with his eyes open, just like his mama.
  
• I have a new favorite TV show - Man vs. Wild on the Discovery channel.
  
• Nebraska is a prettier drive than Kansas. By far.
  
• Dancing Rabbit is more out in the middle of nowhere than the most remote place in the Rockies. Trust me. I've been pretty out in the middle of nowhere before. No comparison.
  
• Pink eye spreads to every eye of every family member in under 24 hours.
  
• My doctor rocks... she's willing to call in a prescription for eye drop when she gets a voicemail from me that sounds like this: "Hi. It's Kristen. I'm stranded at a hippie commune in extremely rural Missouri right now, and we all have pink eye. Please call in a script for drops to Scotland County Pharmacy. I'm sorry, but I don't have a way for you to call me back."
  
• Cob buildings are perhaps among some of the most beautiful buildings there are. (Second only to log homes.)
  
• Small dog ticks can swell up to the size of grapes when they've been attached to a dog for over a day.
  
• Never, ever wearing a bra is so wonderful and liberating. I never want to wear one again.
  
• I could be in a commune around so many people, and still feel lonely... for my family.
  
• I still know how to swing dance.
  
• I want to be a hippie.
  
• Aaron is capable of riding his bike enough to bruise and gash every square inch of his legs and blow out two tire tubes.
  
• Ryan was a muddy, barefoot hippie in a past life, and he fit back into that role very naturally.
  
• My family is capable of accumulating 35 attached ticks in one week (and countless unattached).
  
• There are people in this world who believe, as the ancient Mayans did, that the world is going to end in 2012.
  
• That vegan Macaroni and Cheese, made with nutritional yeast, tastes even better than real Macaroni and Cheese.
  
• That vegan bodies don't smell. At all.
  
• That humanure collection doesn't stink. It only smells like sawdust.
  
• That cob houses aren't made of corn cobs.
  
• Some people at Dancing Rabbit (DR) can live comfortably off $2,500 a year.
  
• That it's beyond embarassing when your five-year-old goes door-to-door, begging for a lighter to light his "torch". (Gee, thanks, Man vs. Wild!)
  
• That when someone finds a tick on themself, you feel phantom ticks crawling on you for at least 15 minutes.
  
• That I use way too many paper towels in the real world - that I really don't need to use any.
  
• That if 30 people only contribute one bag of trash to the landfill in a week, that our family has way too much trash.
  
• That solar energy is very complicated and something that only math nerds like Josh can get truly excited about.
  
• That having a chunk of sawdust on my butt feels just like a tick. And it will fool me everytime.
  
• Hayden seems a lot happier when he's not just "along for the ride", running brothers around all day, every day.
  
• Rumi poetry is far more fun when accompanied by vocal percussion.
  
• Josh seems a lot happier when he doesn't have to commute or worry abou job security.
  
• That I want to read "Non-Violent Communication".
  
• Vegan food is totally filling and non-gassy... even though it's comoprised mainly of beans.
  
• Vinegar and newspaper gets windows spotless.
  
• Vegan "meat" and cookie dough can be eaten raw, of course.

My sister makes some yummy, homemade Mexican food. She was teaching Josh how to make to-die-for salsa out of Chipotle peppers.

When it was time to sample the salsa.

Aaron: YUM! This is SO GOOD!
Shannon: Thanks! Do you know what?
Aaron: What?
Shannon: I made this salsa from SCRATCH!
Aaron: WOW!!!!..... ... Is that in Europe?



Of course, Josh has since tried to make the salsa. Despite me warning him that Ragu spaghetti sauce is NOT the same as a can of diced tomatoes, he attempted the salsa anyway. GROSS! It now resides in the trash can.

Me: What did you do for your art project at VBS today?
Aaron: We painted. We could paint whatever we wanted. Only, not really whatever we wanted, because we had to paint whatever we wanted that reminds us of GOD.
Me: That sounds fun. What did you paint?
Aaron: I painted Long's Peak, a river, grass, trees and a sun.
Me: Wow! That's great! And what did you paint, Ryan... that reminds you of God?
Ryan: I painted a star. For Star Wars.

These days, when I'm on the phone, Aaron has started writing me notes to get my attention. Here are the two most recent:

CIYN
I
Go
aWT
sIDe

________________

WIN
I
caYMe
iN
THe
LivERoM
THe
PIRIT-ShIP
WUS D-NoKT
ovRe

This last note is actually Aaron's first written LIE, and one to save for the baby books. He knocked the 3-D puzzle pirate ship off the entertainment center with a stick.

A few months back, we applied to spend a week at Dancing Rabbit. It is a totally self-sustained Eco-Village in Missouri. We just found out that we've been invited to come out! I'm so excited! Of course, it'll likely be more "work" than "vacation", but it should be interesting, nonetheless.

If you want to see a video about DR, rent this video... it's what inspired Josh and I to check it out in the first place:

http://www.netflix.com/Movie/30_Days_Season_1_Disc_2/70050537?trkid=203957
(Disk 2)

With only TEN more pounds to go to be down to pre-baby weight, I'd say living as a vegan for a week ought to help that out!!

Aaron comes running into the house, breathless.

Aaron: MOM! COME QUICK!
Me: What is it?!?!?
Aaron: You HAVE to some see this!!
Me: Ok, see what?
Aaron: It's the most beautiful red rose I've ever seen!!
Me: A red rose?? You're kidding! Where?
Aaron: Growing out of the tulip leaves!

I mentioned that I was redoing our downstairs bathroom, with the help of Yahoo Answers. I rather like how it turned out. It's finished, sans the switch plates, window fixtures, towels and shower curtain.





It's not so "streaky" in real life... I mean it is up close from doing strie', but not so "big-streaky" in normal light.

When Dave and Phebe get back from Poland, I am going to be crowned EMPLOYEE OF THE YEAR!! I have infiltrated the Baldpate Inn, and gotten ahold of their phenomenal Cornbread recipe! I would be so bold as to say that the Baldpate cornbread is one of Phebe's top five favorite things about the Walter Tishma Way... and now it's MINE! ALL MINE!! I actually think I may keep the recipe to myself and not share it. You see, when Dave & Phebe have their wonderful staff-plus Christmas Party (plus would refer to the Warming House's extended family - Herman & Mieke, Hendee, etc.), I feel so inadequate. It can be rather intimidating - Phebe hosts a beautiful party. Dave is a meat, wine and cheese connoisseur. Herman and Mieke are the owners of the Fawn Brook Inn.... need I say more? Even John was once a pantry chef for the Fawn Brook. So, when we have these "family" get togethers... what does Kristen have to contribute? A can of spaghetti-o's. But not anymore!! Kristen will come bearing warm, fresh, moist Baldpate cornbread.

Kristen

I had to blog for my boss, Phebe, while she was out-of-country. So, I figure that ought to count as a blog entry or two, right?

Taken from http://warminghouse.livejournal.com:

Phebe asked me to keep this blog updated while she was gone, but it's been so BUSY... I apologize for not getting the chance until now.

We hear from Dave and Phebe a couple times a week - they sound really happy. Nothing like a good, long hike to detox from LIFE. Wish I could go! Unfortunately, we haven't gotten many more details than that... when they call, they want to know what's going on in the store, and not use up all of their international cell phone minutes talking about all the fun they're having. I do know that they're taking lots of great pictures, and that Phebe's having many "lightning strike" ideas... which could be dangerous. That means I'm probably going to be super busy when she gets back. Other than that, Phebe said it's been super hot in France - something that caught her off guard. Dave sounds like a boy on Christmas morning when we talks about his nightly cozy up to a fine glass of wine.

While they've been gone, John's been keeping the Warming House up and running, and I've been keeping Footpaths of the World up and running. John had to give our Sierra Designs rep an earful the other day when they only sent half our order, and much of that had the ugliest, poorly done seams you've ever seen. John, and the Warming House, for that matter, do not tolerate being sent JUNK for us to sell... so that's good news for you. Our replacement order should be here soon.

With Dave & Phebe gone, I'm working regular hours in the store for the first time since my baby was born in June. (By regular hours, I mean four hours on Sunday mornings - EVERY Sunday. Pretty regular, eh? Ha!) As much as I have enjoyed working on miscellaneous Footpaths projects in the last year, there's still something I love so much about working on the store floor. It's what brought me through the door two years ago, spontaneously asking for a job as I stood there looking through maps, having just come in off a hike - sweaty, unshowered, and yucky. I've kept telling Dave and Phebe (D&P) that I'll be able to start working full, regular shifts again once the baby's weaned, but the truth is, the baby's 10 months old now... I would easily work more regularly... I just have to wean my HUSBAND off of having me around all the time - that could be trickier.

When D&P left, Phebe told me to pop in a couple times a week to check e-mails and such. Well, it's been much more than that. With Phebe gone, I'm getting to see firsthand how much work goes into planning Walter Tishma Way trips for our clients. When she left, she had everything "pretty much squared away"... but, things are always changing. One group wants to add a day, one group wants to take a person off the trip, one group has a lot of questions, etc. etc. Every little change requires this domino-effect of changes with all of the lodgings along the route. Then waiting to hear back from the lodging. Then adjusting invoices. And deposits. Etc. Etc. It's intricate and complicated. It's insane how much work it is. But, I've loved working with the clients and the lodging owners. And we have SO MANY groups going on the Walter Tishma Way this summer... we've had over a 700% gain from last year! (That was last time I calculated - it's probably much higher than that now.) With all of the tiny details that go into making sure each person has the trip of their life, after these past few weeks of filling in for Phebe, I'm convinced she's not charging enough for these trips! Lucky for you I don't set the prices.... ha!

Also while D&P are gone, I've been given the task of making a Web site for the Fawn Brook Inn - an extension of www.footpathsoftheworld.com . It's not finished yet, but you can get a sneak preview by going to www.footpathsoftheworld.com/fbi1.htm. As a woman who is dieting and trying to shed the last few remaining extra pregnancy pounds, I have to say that there is no task in the world that Phebe could have given me that is crueler than making me type up every last delicious detail of the Fawn Brook Inn menu. CRUEL, I SAY!

As Phebe always says, the Warming House employees are all one big family... the good with the bad. Mom and Dad are away in Europe right now, leaving the kids to take care of the store. Mom checks in on the kids, and the kids say, "Mom! We're big kids now. I'm old enough to stay home alone! Geesh!" Mom and Dad will also be thrilled to know that Big Brother John and I have been playing very nicely since they left... for a change - ha, ha. What's always interesting to see when Mom and Dad leave town is how the "new kids" in the family fit in, and what their roles are. We never get more of a feel for it than when they leave for a month at a time, because the D&P buffer is gone, and everyone's personalities are magnified. It's a good, quick way to get to know each other, that's for sure.

The weather has been BEAUTIFUL the last few days in Colorado - getting up to 80 degrees on Sunday! Spring is my FAVORITE time of year. Unfortunately, in Colorado, it only lasts for about two days. One day it's snowing, and a week later it's 85 degrees. For a couple days in there, we'll have my favorite, ideal Spring weather.

I've been getting to hike more now, which I'm excited about. I have a new favorite hiking partner - my five-year-old son, Aaron. Last year, when hiking, he was slow, whiny, and stopped to examine every piece of moss. This year Aaron is super-fast (I work out regularly, and can hardly keep up!), very fit (he doesn't even get out of breath), non-whiny, and even excellent conversation. I know he treasures our special hiking trips. He did a hike with me last weekend that, aside from the 14,000-foot peaks, was one of the hardest hikes I've done - and he did awesome. We're going to have a great summer!

Snowshoeing is really slowing down. The people that do take snowshoes out come back absolutely drenched from the slush of late afternoon.

Sorry this ended up being so long... As Phebe knows, once I get started writing/talking, I can't shut up!

--Kristen

What is it with me not being able to update my blog?? Everyday, at least one thing happens where I think, "Oh, I am SO going to have to blog about this one!" Then I have to remind myself: You're talking as if you're actually a blogger. And, you're not. You're a slacker.

Aaron is SO entertaining in the middle of the night. He never really wakes up. So much so, in fact, that if I didn't wake him up at 11pm, when I go to bed, every night to take him potty, he'd still be wetting the bed. Ryan, on the other hand, has never wet the bed and probably never will wet the bed.

So, every night I potty the boys. With Ryan, I whisper, "Time to go potty, honey." He pops out of bed, and scurries to the bathroom, pulls down his pants, lifts the seat, pees, pulls up his pants, scurries back to bed, and says, "Good night, Mommy - I love you."

Aaron on the other hand will NOT wake up. I have to drag his 50-pound body out of bed. Then I have to stand him up. Then I have to practically carry him to the bathroom. Then I have to pull his pants down. Then I have to help "point" him in the right direction. Then I have to pull his pants back up. Then I have to walk him back to bed. Then I have to lift him back into bed and cover him up. And he never remembers a thing.

One time, Aaron woke up to go pee, and came into Josh and I's room, and I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of pee hitting the hardwood floor of our bedroom. Numerous times I've found Aaron peeing in the bathtub. He just WON'T wake up.

Sometimes he acts crazy. Like, he won't walk outside of his room - when he gets to the doorway, he teeters like he's standing on the edge of a clif. I continue to guide him to the bathroom, and he fights and resists - afraid of going over the cliff.

Other times he steps over invisible toys laying in the middle of the floor.

And other times he is trying to pick things up off the ground that aren't there.

But, the time that takes the cake happened a few nights ago. I was taking Aaron potty, and as we were finishing up, Josh was coming upstairs. I thought it would be funny to see what Aaron would do if I didn't pull up his pants and carry him back to bed. So, I just let him go. He walked around the upstairs with his underwear around his knees. First toward our room - then into Hayden's - then toward his room, then back to the bathroom. Josh and I were silently laughing our heads off as we watched. Then he walked back to the toilet. I thought he was going to pee again. No.... instead he came out in the hall, took his underwear off, walked back into the bathroom and SLAM DUNKED it into the pee-filled toilet. Then he ran back to bed.

I am so addicted to Yahoo! Answers. You get points for answering other people's questions, and you can ask a question about ANYTHING, and lots of people will give great answers. I've already asked:

1.) Can I just paint over the mold in my bathroom?

and

2.) What would my family have to do to be able to move to New Zealand?

I got great answers on both! #1 has actually been pretty stressful to us. I'm ready to totally redecorate, and ran in to all sorts of mold. (We take all of our showers in there, and there's no fan or anything.) But, once I get this mold thing under control, it's going to look GREAT - It going to have a suede-colored ceiling, and the walls will have a lemon-yellow background color, with a dark forest green glaze top coat, that I will do with a Strie effect. Then, all shelving, fixtures, etc. will be very rustic twig. I can't wait!

No, he's STILL not crawling, so don't ask.

I had Mister Thrushy-Butt sitting without a diaper on a towel and....

Drumroll, please....

He found his penis. TA-DA!

He was so excited. And he was stretching and tugging at that thing like he was trying to take it off of his body... or like it was a toy that was stuck under him that he just couldn't break free of the rest of his body. And he was giggling. He was a happy baby, let me tell you.

That night, in the bathtub, he'd forgotten about his penis, and went about playing in his bath in his usual manner. Then, all of the sudden, his hand grazed it, and he REMEMBERED! Then he would feel it, make sure it was still there, smile, and go back to playing with bath toys. Then - Wait - is it still there? Yes it is. Smile. Back to playing with bath toys. But, wait - what about now? Yup! There it is again! Ah! I love this new toy.